Yes I know I’ve been away for some time. I’ve heard that beeing constant is the key to accheiving something. That is my truely achilles heel. I know that there is a reason for this behavior. I start doing something with energy and passion and when I start to analyze what I’m doing I start doubting myself. So unnecessarily and such a waste of time. Why can’t I just beleive in myself and what I do? Is it because of the fear of what everybody else thinks? Yes. That is why. Why am I so freaking afraid all the time? I want to scream to myself STOP! just STOP. Nobody will ever care and if the do care and have a bad oppinion about you, will this change your mind about what your doing? I don’t think so.
Anyway, enough with the babbling. Tomorrow I will be going to Paris. The city of love and after that I will be going to Milano and then Venice. The reason for this trip is only one thing. To face a fear.
Every since I broke up with my ex I have always wanted to find someone to travel with. Have I found him yet? No. So this year I promised myself I would do the things I want to do even if I need to do them by myself. So one of those things were to travel more.
As a kid I had the luck to travel alot. I’m very thankful for that. But all the traveling have aroused an interest in me to travel more as an adult. The problem was I wanted to travel with someone. I have painted a picture in my head of how I travel around the globe with my soulmate, my best friend in life and how we would explore country after country together. Sadly the reality was another story. I have not found him yet (but I think I’m one step closer of knowing who he might be). And as the time passes by I need to take control of the situation and not let my life passes by becauses I waited for the perfect moment. Honestly, the perfect moment will never come if you are looking for it. So to sum up this very long explanation, I took matters into my own hands. I booked several travels within this semester and now the day has arrived (or really tomorrow).
Maybe I will hate this travel or maybe I have so much fun. I don’t know. But I do know that time is short to wait for the perfect moment to come. I will come but maybe not in the way you think it will.