Then I Saw Him

Yesterday was the day I met him, the guy I wrote earlier about. The odd thing about it was like I somehow knew that we would meet each other at that exact place we met yesterday. He sat there by the window looking at his phone, like he almost always did. It was like nothing had happen and maybe nothing did ever happen in his life more than his job and his stupid phone. But what do I know? The man never speaks. 

The funny thing is that I imaged how we would meet each other again. How happy I would be. Sure I am happy or should I say was. I was happy until every emotion that I felt at the time I didn’t know where our relationship was going was ripped up like a wound again. 

Isn’t strange how people can process a relationship for weeks, months or years until they feel happy again and then see your ex partner once and everything you have processed is teared up again in seconds. In my case I believe those feelings about the relationship is based on memories. Memories of my feelings back at that time. Feelings of beeing trapped with someone that doesn’t know how to communicate emotions or inner thoughts. A person whom keeps everything in their mind and doesn’t understand the value of closeness and love.

The story about yesterday ended with a stiff hug and a bitter aftertaste of the whole situation. It was like I was disappointed that he was so indifferent to seeing me, the total opposite of what I felt. Despite my disappointment to his reaction I shouldn’t actually be supriced after all due to his responsiveness and action in our relationship. Regardless of this, there is one thing I really wish regarding this man. I wish he could understand that he is missing out on such a big thing in life by not letting people in and not feeling what love truely is all about. All this also makes me sad and I wish I could make him appreciate life a little bit more.

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