Stress goal or success goal?

The good thing about a goal is that you can have different mindsets for them. It can either be goals as you think “I should do this because I want to get where I want” or you can have goals where the journey to the goal becomes a fun process.

The approach to achieving your goal is very important because either the goal creates a stress or the goal will make you happy. An example I often reflect on is children and sports. In my oppinion adults are making excessive demands on our children that they should perform to achieve success. Perhaps because parents spend time and money and therefore expect a result, what do I know? We emphasize that the goal is important and to achieve your goal the children must do as we say. We constantly remind the children of why we are pushing them and keeps nagging about the target.

But what about if we stop for a second with this approach and learn how to shift the focus and start with NOT talking about what the goal is. Instead we focus on the actual process. What if we focus on how fun it is to learn something new or going to practice or whatever it may be. What if we learn our brains to enjoy and how fun it actually is to be present in the moment. 

So the question is, how can we reach our goal and at the same time have fun? To answer this question we should ask a few other questions first.

  1. For whose purpose do you want to achieve the goal and why?

What is the reason for your goal? What feeling do you want to have when you have achieved your goal?

2. Is your goal a goal or a wish?

Din inställning till att uppnå ditt mål är enligt mig en viktig sak. Om du ser på ett mål som en önskan är det större chans att du når dit än om du har det som ett mål. Varför jag skriver så är för att ett mål kan lätt bli ett krav som i sin tur skapar stress. Däremot om ditt mål är en önskan blir din drivkraft mycket starkare till att nå målet.

3. How can I handle the difficult situations?

Even though goals are based on a wish, it may sometimes be tough to get there without sacrificing something. The road to the target may not always be a straight and you may have to stand out with situations where everything feels meaningless or you just want to give up. Here we may need to change our mindset when it feels difficult.

An example might be your career. We all have days or weeks, we feel that the working week simply sucks. We know we have to go to work and perform even though we may not always want to. When situations like this occurs you can ask yourself how can I make my busy week a little more fun?. It does not have to be big, but does something that feels fruitful so that the week feels more manageable. It may be all about buying a good lunch to have a day of sleep a day.

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