God what I’ve been bad at updating. I’ve really been busy. So busy with myself that I haven’t taken the time to write.But today it’s actually Christmas Eve. I know there are many who love Christmas and some who hate Christmas. A day with many emotions.Christmas Eve for me is not a day full of traditions. Partly because I’ve probably never celebrated Christmas in the same way sometime (except when I was living with my ex). However, I belong to the group that does not care about traditions so much. I’d rather belong to the crowd who can imagine experiencing Christmas in a new way every year.
However, I think the focus on Christmas has become a bit skewed. I don’t think that Christmas is about Christmas gifts and food, but rather about a time for recovery and reflection. How we do it best can only each person decide for themselves, but I recover the best way all by myself in my sofa. For my own part, I needed to be completely by myself this year. I wanted to be so isolated from everybody else that I even shut down my mobile. I have known that recently something has eaten my energy. So the only thing I was looking for was recovery, which I get the best for myself. So this year Christmas is a normal day. I woke up, drank my coffee, went to the gym, ate lunch and watched movies. Nothing special. So I haven’t had any Christmas feeling at all. Partly because I knew that I would not celebrate Christmas and partly because I have been in my own bubble throughout December. It’s not that I dislike Christmas, it’s just that I dislike celebrating Christmas as I don’t want to celebrate it. Then I can be without Christmas. But it seems that people have difficulty understanding this. I find that many put their heads on the side and almost feel sorry for me. I understand that this is a consideration, but I usually perceive it more as an opinion on how I should celebrate Christmas rather than a consideration. That I’m beeing strange for not having the midset that christmas is a feast and a holiday for averyone to be gathered with family and loved ones. That my choice isn’t what “everybody” should be doing on christmas eve. And therefore it’s sad.
Now I don’t want this post to end up with a sad impression, because it is actually christmas. So I want to write that eventhough I was alone this year I had a wonderful normal day and I wish everybody else also had a great christmas eve. So the only thing left to write is to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!